6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
