Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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