I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
