I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
