Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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