your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
