Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
