If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
