I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
