And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
