If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What a dumb baby whore.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
