There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
