I'm really into asian looking animals
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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