Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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