So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You pole danced in your parka.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
