Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
