I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So much rum. So many feels.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize