it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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