I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
