Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
