So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
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