i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
