she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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