went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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