If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
