Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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