also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize