We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I want her autograph on my taint
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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