And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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