I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
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You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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