The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
