I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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