Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
