So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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