Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
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Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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