it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
