I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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