Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize
