I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
