go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
