I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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