Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
