Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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