Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
