Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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