D3 body, D1 cock
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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