Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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