goodnight i made you a song goodbye
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
