just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
