I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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