i barfeds in our rink
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
