She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
His hands were made for my vagina.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The beers last night were like the tears from god
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
