6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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