the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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