remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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